As we approach the end of life, we may find that it is no longer possible to attend to our daily needs without assistance. Sometimes this occurs gradually as we age and sometimes we have an event that creates a significant change quickly. In either case, a decision needs to be made regarding where we will live, in our own home with assistance, with one of our children (or other relative) or in a facility. Each of these options has benefits and drawbacks.
Living in our own home with help has much to recommend it from the comfort point of view. It can also be less expensive or significantly more expensive depending on how the help is supplied. If family members are able and willing to provide the support there are health care professionals available to provide whatever training may be needed. This is the least expensive in terms of money and can be expensive in time and effort of unpaid caregivers. If there are limited financial resources or limited family supports this may be the only long term solution.
Living with children or other relatives can be a solution that appeals to all involved or may be an emotional situation with potholes like a road at the end of a hard winter. Because of the level of mobility in our lives, relatives may not be living near enough to make the move an easy one and we may feel like guests in a new living situation. If there are strong relationships and open lines of communication this can be satisfying for everyone involved. Even if this necessitates a move of a great distance it is possible that this is the best choice for all. Multiple generation living arrangements can be good for all involved with guidance from health care providers as needed.
Living in a facility may be a good choice if there is money enough to pay for the care, particularly if the “ancestral home” can be sold to provide support for part of the cost. There are many facilities that provide effective, safe care as independent living (an apartment with access to a communal dining room), assisted living with a few more services or a complete nursing care facility. Despite fears to the contrary most of these facilities are safe and effective. You need only be observant to be assured that all is well.
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