Listening to Our Aging Relatives

Listening is something we all think we are doing all the time. Multitasking by texting while we are also in a conversation or playing a game on the computer while we are on the phone may lead to incomplete understanding of what was said. This can be especially a problem if we are having a conversation with our aging relatives.
We need to be present in mind as well as in body when we are talking with our relatives, friends and acquaintances. Listening is an active process. Paying attention to what is being said, noting non-verbal clues and knowing what has already been said in the conversation are all ways to listen actively. Do not think of your reply before the other person stops speaking. Ask for clarification of a statement that was made. Restate something or paraphrase it to be sure that you understood. All of these practices will improved communication.
Another thing we need to keep in mind while we are talking with our aging relatives is that they do usually have something to say. They have many years of experience and may provide a new point of view to enliven the discussion. They may also be giving you an opening to discuss uncomfortable issues such as money concerns, safety concerns or end of life issues. How they feel about the last days of a friend or relative can give you a hint about how they want to be treated.
We also need to allow them to be happy, sad, fearful, angry or any other emotion that presents itself. Nodding and making "listening noises" (I see, and then what happened, really!?) will encourage them to share what is really going on. You need to acknowledge how your relative is feeling about an issue, do not assume that they want you to fix whatever is wrong and do not try to minimize what they are feeling.